Rawiya Erotica

Posts Tagged ‘Save Me

Stylish young fashion male model.

Writing again!


Details in this post about my rewrite 

Taboos and Peversions




I’m honored to be with so many talented authors in this anthology

All proceeds from it will be going to the Trevor Project.

My story Save Me is a continuation from Michael Mandrake’s Guardian Angel book

Here are the links


All Romance


To see a snippet from my story click here

Good morning. How about more from Save Me? 

BryanMarczewski  Here is the Blurb: The sequel to Guardian Angel by Michael Mandrake features Calvin Williams, a young closeted suburban man looking for acceptance from his parents. His feelings for his lifeline counselor Daniel have grown beyond the comfort zone and he’d like to explore the possibilities of a relationship with him. Lacking self-confidence and still afraid to come out, he desires some fulfillment beyond his sister and guardian angel, Chris.

Daniel Bradshaw has been out and proud for five years and desires to know Calvin Williams but hasn’t been on a real date for years. His work and taking care of his terminally ill mother have taken all his time but he still wishes to make some for the man he’s never met. The two are alike in some ways but the distance and Calvin’s fear keep them apart. Will they eventually find a way to be together?

“I dunno what to say to him. I mean, I know I’m probably out of his league.” Calvin fiddled with the loose threads on top of his quilt. “I know he has a man. I just know it.”

“You won’t know until you go see him at the center.” Bright shining light surrounded Calvin’s other best friend, Christian, or Chris, as he liked to be called when he was alive. Mid-length black curls just kissed the shoulders of his off-white gown. Wild brown eyes and a perfectly chiseled, clean face rounded out Chris’ angelic features.

Chris was Calvin’s gay cousin who had taken his own life almost three years ago. They’d formed a bond over these past two months when Calvin was having nightmares.  Christian came to his aid, making him call the helpline to get assistance. Unfortunately, they didn’t become close until it was too late.

Calvin made sure he only spoke to Chris before bedtime or when insomnia set in, so no one would catch him talking to the air. Surely all his family would deem him crazy if they caught him in the act.

Calvin pulled the last stray thread out of the quilt and flicked it on the floor. His head hit the pillow, and he clutched the sides tightly. “I know… I… I’m just afraid of getting rejected, Chris. Can you do some angelic stuff to make him like me?”

“Angelic stuff?” Chris chuckled and held his midsection. Speckles of gold dust flew through the air with his every move. “I’m not a warlock, Calvin. I’m an angel.”

“Well, do something. You got some sort of magical powers, I know.” Calvin snorted and sat up straight, eyeing the form in front of him. “Damn, Chris, I wish you were really here so Brenda could see you. I’d tell her about your regular visits, but I’m sure she’d have me committed.”

Chris grinned. “Yeah, well, best if you didn’t cuz. Hey, Lowell’s calling me. I gotta get going. Promise me you’ll talk to this dude, okay? He sounds like a real hottie.”

Calvin sighed inwardly, watching his cousin fade backwards and wave until his form disappeared right in front of his eyes. Every time that happened he needed to pinch himself.  His left brain told him it wasn’t possible to speak with angels. “Yeah, yeah, Chris. Will do.”

Suddenly worn out, Calvin stretched his arms and punched the pillow again, laying his head down. Hopefully sleep wouldn’t be too far behind, since he had a very important exam in the morning.

Check out BL’s Sat Sips here




Happy Monday

Once again, my muse for Save Me, is up on the blog.

He is REALLY gorgeous.

Model Bryan Marczewski, I need more pics of him

BL also used him as the fanboy in the latest Wretched installment!


BryanMarczewski  Good morning

 So I’m way late with the sips so I’m posting it today for you as I’d promised last Wednesday. Sorry! Shar had to work the DJ and kind of forgot but here is a little snippet of my next story, Save Me, the followup to Michael’s Guardian Angel story.

Unedited excerpt

“Yeah, yeah… I get it, believe me, I do.” Calvin Williams lay on his bed, with the door closed, and his cell nestled between his head and shoulder. It was a wonder he hadn’t gotten a cramp from being in this position for the last two or three hours but to talk with Daniel, it was just a small sacrifice in comfort.

Daniel had become his best friend, someone he could call anytime day or night, regardless of what was going on. Calvin found so much relief in speaking with Daniel he refused to talk with anyone else if he wasn’t available.

“And, hey, if that doesn’t work, there’s always leaving and finding your own place. The bottom line is, you gotta be comfortable with yourself, learn to love yourself.”

I am but I wanna fall in love. And with you would be nice.

Calvin smirked to himself and shifted on the bed to relive some of the pressure on his lower back. No question, he’d need to take a walk or stretch when got off the phone with his best friend but right now, he didn’t want to let him go. In fact, that’s the way it had been for the last couple of months.

From the first day, October 6th at around six a.m. when he called the Project Hope line to find someone to talk to, he was reluctant to hang up. Not only because he’d found a listening ear and a calm voice but also the man on the other end was so soothing and seemed generally interested in assisting him. Daniel had become his savior and ally when everything else seemed bleak. Good thing too because Calvin was so close to going off the edge.

Other than his sister Brenda, who’d also stood by him while he’d gotten more encouragement to come out, Daniel unknowingly wedged his way into Calvin’s heart. Many times Calvin thought about taking him up on the offer and dropping by to see him at the north side center just to get a glimpse but he was too afraid to do so. He feared finding out if Daniel had a boyfriend or wasn’t interested in dating someone he’d counseled. Calvin would be devastated and decided to keep his feelings to himself. For now, as long as Daniel continued to pick up the phone, that would have to suffice.

“Cal?” A confused voice sounded through the headset breaking his lust filled haze.

Calvin blinked twice and shook his head. “Sorry, Daniel. I drifted off a moment. Hey, can you tell me again about the time you came out to your parents? I think I’m ready but I need to hear it one more time to feel comfortable. I know you’ve told me on like three or four different occasions but, I love hearing how you overcame the odds.” In reality, Calvin just loved hearing Daniel talk and any excuse to hear his voice was good enough for him. He’d never had a feeling about anyone like this before and for damn sure, it would be a lot harder if he’d seen Daniel in person.

Silence. Have I said something wrong? He drummed his fingers on the mattress, waiting on the answer.

Daniel sighed aloud and cleared his throat. “Yeah sure, Cal. Whatever will make you feel better, I’m willing to do. And remember, my door is always open down here whenever you want to come and talk.”

Is the door to your heart open too? In that case I’ll be right there.

“Uh… yeah, yeah. I know, Daniel. I’m just not ready to take that step yet. As soon as I am, you’ll be the first to know.” Calvin sat up straight because he’d developed a crook in his neck from lying awkwardly. He rubbed his shoulder and tried to stretch without accidentally pressing any buttons on the phone.

“Okay. Well, let’s see. It was a dark, stormy night…”

“Daniel,” Calvin squealed, then covered his mouth, hoping no one heard him yell.

“Heh, sorry. Had to throw some humor in there. Actually, it was storming that evening though. My parents just returned from their little vacation to Puerto Vallarta. I’d told them I needed to speak to them about something really important, and asked that we meet in the living room. They both agreed and I sat in the chair, across from them. Gosh, I was so nervous, Cal. The air was so thick in that room, I could hardly breathe. I’d been talking with my own counselor about it and like you I wasn’t quite ready to go to any meetings. Anyway, I just took a deep breath and said it. Mom, dad, I’m gay. I know you may not like it but, this is the way I am and I hope you can accept that.”

Calvin nodded, wishing he had the courage Daniel had to speak up for himself. He was getting there but he wasn’t sure if he was really ready to take the plunge.

“When I finished my sentence, there was nothing but dead air. My folks looked at one another then back at me. My dad spoke first and I just knew that by the calm look on his face, they might understand and accept me for being gay. Instead, he shook his head and said, ‘son, you’re not gay. You can’t be. You just can’t. We didn’t raise you as some pervert.’ After he’d said that, I tuned them both out and knew what I had to do next. I heard some words about counseling, meeting with the family priest. They just weren’t willing to accept who I was. They assured me it was some kind of phase I was going through and I needed to get over it quickly. By the time they finished ranting, I’d already made up my mind it was time for me to go. They hadn’t said get out at first, but in so many words they said they couldn’t accept me being gay.”

Calvin clutched the covers underneath his fingers and sighed inwardly. He knew that would be the same situation he’d go through and wasn’t looking forward to hearing his folks say something about conversations with Pastor Leahy. After all, this was an overly religious family and there was already an obvious disconnect between him and them. “And then…”

“Then when they said I just needed to talk with someone about my, quote on quote, problem, I got up, went to my room and started packing. Now, mind you, I was older than you and well, I was also staying on campus. That was around the holidays when we were about to change dorms too so that meant shacking up with a friend until I could find my own place to stay. I remember mom telling me to get out and not come back until I got my head on straight.” Daniel laughed heartily. “Can you imagine? Get my head on straight? Yeah well, I knew my head was fine but on the inside my heart was broken. I was hurt that my folks couldn’t accept me for who I was but I decided not to let it defeat me. I grabbed everything I could and left. Hey, Cal, listen. All I’m saying is do it for yourself. Unfortunately, a lot of young people have to go through the same thing and because they’re minors, they’re forced out on the streets with nowhere to turn. There aren’t many youth centers like this one in the states. They’re run almost completely on grants and donations and when the money runs out, it’s hard for the doors to stay open and help every young person left alone. If they do tell you to leave I’ve already told you to come to the center and I’ll help you find someplace to stay.”

“Really?” Calvin perked up when he heard that. He couldn’t remember Daniel saying those words but then again, he could’ve been entranced by hearing the deep, sexy voice on the other end.

“Yeah, Cal. I’m always here to help; told you that on the first day we talked.”

“Yeah you did, but I just didn’t know how far you’d go to help me. Don’t you have other young people you counsel?”

“Sure I do, Cal and I’ve told them all the same thing. Here at Project Hope, we field a lot of calls but most of the time, they’re from the same people. Just like you, others have asked to only speak to me. The other counselors have the same situation.”

Upon hearing that Calvin couldn’t help the pang of jealousy in his heart. So I’m not special? Calvin would’ve liked to think that Daniel was only talking to him but he knew this wasn’t reality. Just another reason he should keep his feelings for Daniel to himself.

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